How do I tell my parents I’m pregnant?

 Finding out that you are pregnant is scary enough…

 “Now I have to tell my parents, they will KILL me!”

Telling you parents that you are pregnant (or that your girlfriend is pregnant) can be a scary thought.  But it is important that you talk to them right away and don’t put it off.  Unless your parents are abusive, the sooner you tell them the better.

It is very unlikely that your parents will kill you.  They may be surprised, disappointed, or even hurt but they will not hurt you.  Every family is different and some show love in different ways, your parents may not be the emotional support you need but they do love you and need to know about your pregnancy.  Unplanned pregnancies have a way of drawing a family together in support of the teen parent.  Just make sure you don’t let them find out from someone else.  That will hurt them more than the news of your pregnancy.

“My parents are too busy to deal with this.”

  • PLAN YOUR TIMING- Don’t catch your parents off guard when they are frustrated, busy, or tired.  You know your parents and can read their moods.  They will be easier to talk to when they are relaxed.  Remember there are ways to tell them without being face to face in person.

“This is going to be an argument!”

  • DO NOT ARGUE– Parents tend to talk through situations out loud, or even lecture…Don’t get defensive and argue with them.  Remember they are receiving unexpected news and will have many of the same thoughts as you did when you found out.  Likely your parents will express all their concerns, worries, and disappointments as they are absorbing the information, this is only because they love you and are concerned for your well being.  You may not see it but your parents probably love you very much and want to be there for you when you are hurting.  If you argue you might say things in anger that you do not mean and  it could leave everyone in a tense and angry mood.  After your parents process the news and talk out their initial reactions, they will  calm down and likely be very supportive of you and concerned about your feelings..

“But how do I tell them?”

  • KNOW WHAT TO SAY- Let your parents know how you feel.  Tell them you are scared, let them know you are aware that this may be disappointing to them.  Make sure they know you love them!  Be straight forward about the facts.  Don’t beat around the bush or leave things unsaid.  Your parents will appreciate your honesty.

“I can’t look my parents in the eye when they find out!”

  • PLAN YOUR APPROACH– It might be better if you wrote a letter or left a note for your parents.  Not all families communicate well face to face and that is OK.  You know your family, and if it would be easier write a note then do it that way.  Leave a letter somewhere mom and dad will see it easily and read it while you are not around.  Hand them your letter personally and tell them you will talk to them after they read it.  Or sit down when you have plenty of time and tell them you need to talk to them about something important.  If it is easier talk to one parent at a time.




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Bright Alternatives is an independent organization and is NOT affiliated with any medical or adoption agencies. The staff of Bright Alternatives is available to give you information on all your options and support through your pregnancy as well as continued support and friendship after. Your local Pregnancy Center is always available and willing to talk with you and listen to your concerns. There is someone available 24/7 at the help line as well you can call 1-800-395-HELP to speak with a caring and trained counselor. If you are outside of the Bright Alternatives serving area the help line will get you connected with a Center that serves your area.